SUPERSONIC SHED YESTERDAY (TODAY) AND TODAY (LATER)

YESTERDAY ALL MY TROUBLES SEEMED SO FAR AWAY

Super Sonic Shed generation game consisted of one stick of candy from a family that travelled all the way from Bedford to see me.  Slight deviation of truth this was via a funeral.  One apple, one banana, from two Irish love birds.  Loads of juice and the most obscure gift to the Super Sonic Shed was a Smarty Lamp from renowned artist Jac Queline Hammond.  The 1970s smarty lamp pre - assembled left me in  mind boggling despair... this was Rubik cube technology, I can just about switch a kettle on.  When the huge light was assembled, I chucked out the hot water bottle to down size. 

 

At night time I opened the side window in the roof and rested the lamp in the gap.  Just as I was about to doze off the lamp fell and started slowly creeping on its long lead sporadically towards my nose.  It was at the point when the curly spirally lamp was edging its way towards my face and making scratching noises against the back of the Super Sonic Shed that I realised something was wrong.  I realised that solitary confinement means you attach far more significance to inanimate objects around you.  The huge lamp very brightly lit with escaping light out of the spiral gaps, became a UFO and I was about to be abducted.  I didnt genuinly believe this, but convinced myself, amusingly, that this was happening and at the same time made it very real in my mind.

 

The music to War of the Worlds was running through my head, as the lamp creeped closer and closer towards my face.  This is the point at which I realised reality for me, was starting to change significantly.  And its only because I am viewing my experience comedically and objectively that I can keep a lock on my changing perceptions.  Knowing that there is an end date to all of this helps also.  For anyone else in confinement, I dread to think how inanimate objects, take on a personality or stronger presence.

So yes its starting to happen, I am going slightly stir crazy and whilst this is not like the film Mid Night Express, the fact that three random girls turned up last night wearing shiny silver pilot goggles, completely brought everything back to how it should be.  The three girls entered the Super Sonic Shed and I was guided through a vigorous yoga class, with deep breathing exercises.  One of the girls asked me if I have had any sex yet, this wasn't a proposition but very direct question, in a very small potent space. 

That half an hour in the Super Sonic Shed was hilarious and they are coming back as Charlies Angels on Friday and we are going to reinact Silence of the Lambs then have a 1970s disco together.
Probably have a drink or two. 
Goodnight !!



Comments

[Toby "The Shepherd" Meader]

great to hear about inanimate objects there Matt, for it was told the quest for life was undertaken by a family of shoes.This quest involved finding the path to Jupiter's moons before the gas bill arrived. Many concrete owls feared for the safety of the shoes, who were in fact savage Mexican Chelsea boots from shoezone, as they went without bottled water and a good healthy packed lunch..The telegraph poles laughed and the fountain pen gang mocked the shoes for fifty eight years as it took them this time to actually get round to leaving their warm dogs biscuit house to partake in the quest. By this time it was too late and a platoon of dining tables squashed them with a singular dichotomy.

[Jessica Kaye]

Hey its the funeral girl from bedford lol. Nice to see your going strong from my candy stick hope it all goes well, i will keep looking at your updates. its nice to read all the funny things you do and best of luck for the 5th x